You Might Be a Teleradiologist If…

You Might Be a Teleradiologist If…
By Eric Postal, MD

(With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)

You might be a teleradiologist if…

…you weren’t really joking when you said you’d be perfectly happy if they locked you in a closet with a stack of CTs and left you alone.

…you saw no desirable jobs in hospitals or imaging centers within an hour’s commute of your home, and you had no intention of relocating.

…you’ve ever wanted (or tried) to barricade the door to your reading room so nobody could get in.

…you want to do some super-expensive home renovations, and write them off as business expenses. Hey, you could wind up doing some reads from the new hot tub.

…you went into radiology to read studies, not to play in departmental politics.

…it’s the one surefire way that nobody would hassle you about doing IVs, fluoro, biopsies, or drainages ever again.

…you’re prone to spontaneous outbursts of yodeling while you work, and are tired of getting weird looks from people who share your reading room with you.

…wearing a tie, lab coat, or other professional attire is a hassle. Heck, maybe you don’t even feel like wearing pants.

…you occasionally like to show interesting cases to your dog, who thinks the world of you whether you just diagnosed a fascinoma or scratched him behind the ear.

…it makes sense to you that, in exchange for reading twice as many cases (or covering twice as many shifts), you get paid twice as much.

…seeing that a foot of snow accumulated while you were asleep, you prefer not to frantically grab a shovel so you can throw your back out in order to get to work.

…you can’t remember the last time you recertified for CPR or ACLS.

…you like getting your lunch, snacks, coffee, etc. from your nice, clean kitchen that gets used by nobody outside of your family.

…burglars gave up casing your home because you just never seem to leave.

…mentioning your telerad work to non-telerad docs feels about as contentious as bringing up politics or religion.