Radiology Wife: The Story of the Spoon and the Apron

Once Upon A Time... There was a young girl with blond hair and blue eyes. She loved her parents devotedly, although because her father was a radiologist, their time together was brief at best.

Her name was Elizabeth and she spent most of her free time helping her mother in the kitchen. For this reason she longed more than anything for an apron and wooden spoon of her own. Elizabeth dreamed of the delicious dishes she would make for her father with these two supplies in hand. And it wasn't long before she got her wish.

Every night when her father came home from work (I mean, on the nights that her father came home from work) he placed his briefcase on a chair in the kitchen. It was always the same chair. Always.

One night Elizabeth was feeling extra lonely for her father and in hopes of catching a glimpse, she curled up beneath that chair and waited for him to return. Unfortunately, she fell asleep before she saw him arrive. Even more unfortunately, her father had left again by the time she woke up.

However, despite not seeing him, Elizabeth was filled with delight as before her on the floor lay a wooden spoon and a tiny apron. She crawled out from under the chair and picked up the apron. Despite the size, it was very heavy and made of a nylon material. Not the usual light and airy apron, but she loved it just the same.

The spoon was different too. It was wooden and highly lacquered, with a metal bar about half way up the handle. She loved this too, and took both items up to her room to get a good rest and dream of the dinner she would make.

The phone rang and Elizabeth heard her mother answer it. Being drowsy, she didn't quite hear a frustrated voice on the other end say: "I was just about to do a SBE when I realized my mayo spoon and thyroid shield are gone..."

To this day, the one thing I want is that spoon. It symbolizes my dad to me. You're kidding right? I can hear you spitting out your coffee thinking about lovingly passing down a poop test spoon to your child, but here's the thing: You can't choose what they will love about you.

So I am going to offer you some tips in the remainder of this article. Here are five tips on how to endear your children to you in the limited amount of time you have to spend with them:

1. Try to remember the names of their friends. (Hint: This is their world.)

2. Know when their birthdays are. (Hint: If your child hears you calling in a prescription for them and you need to ask your wife for their birthday - epic fail.)

3. Have at least one thing that the two of you do together that you don't do with anyone else. (Hint: Show them you like them.)

4. Support their mother in discipline. (Hint: She deals with them all the time, she probably knows what's important.)

5. Listen to them talk. (Hint: Listen to them talk.)

Okay, you can go back to reading the AJR now. There is a great pictorial essay on CT findings of pulmonary nocardiosis in this month's issue. But seriously, try to remember what I said about your kids. They love you.

Oh, and clean that wooden spoon. You never know where it will end up.

Elizabeth Goss, a.k.a. Radiology Wife, has a degree in writing, a radiologist husband, a radiologist father, two daughters, and a few things to tell you. As she puts it, “Both radiologists are Mayo Clinic trained so my osmotic-radiology is pretty hard core... as far as osmosis goes.”